It’s the small Victories! 

When my kids father and I were together and things got bad my children were there for most of it. Every tear, fight and door slam they were there. However, sober dad was real great and he had a bond with our son like no other. So when I finally had enough and we broke up it affected Dj differently than it did the girls. For the last 3 years between the last stage of the relationship and us not being together at all, Dj has struggled emotionally and his grades at school reflect that struggle. 

Dj is behind his grade slightly and because of it his confidence has wavered. In 1st grade I reached out to the school but felt pushed to the side. Last year his 2nd grade teacher reached out to me and we started a long process of evaluations, interventions and coaching sessions to try and catch him up. 

This year has been difficult. Dj has gone through an emotional rollercoaster, from us moving back to my dads and him not seeing his dad. But my boy has not given up. He has an IEP plan and we have buckled down on the books, downloaded apps and we have succeeded!!! 

This is the text I received from his teacher today! I am so proud. He came from behind and is now ahead. This is a tremendous achievement and if you could’ve seen his face it would’ve melted your heart. He worked hard and deserves this. After so many trying times and disappointments it’s the small victories that make a tremendous difference. 

We had to celebrate for him today. Took him to CiCi’s pizza and bought him a new toy. This isn’t the final test to show where his grade is going to stand or the end of grade test, but it is a small victory. I’m so excited and proud of him. It’s great to see his smile coming back. I love this journey of growth we are on and I know it’s going to be hard but these small victories let me know that I am on the right track.


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Making Memories on a budget

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As a single parent creating memories with my kids is something that is extremely important to me. Until recently it used to cause me great anxiety, because I’m broke. Literally! I work two jobs (52 hours a week or more). What kind of memories can I create if I don’t have any money, or time? I remember growing up traveling to Florida to visit my grandparents, Disney World, going to the theme park in our city, sporting events and going to the movies. How can I create these type of memories with my kids on my budget and time constraints?

     Then one day laying on the couch with my Peanut I realized we were making memories and it wasn’t costing me a dime. It was an ephifany and it changed my views on my interactions with my kids completely. I now see every moment as a chance to bond.

     You can create bonding moments and memories in any situation. Think back to your childhood some of the best memories aren’t because of the cost of the event, but the way you felt at the time.   Something as simple as cooking, washing clothes, swimming, fishing or laying on the couch talking can create a lifetime of memories.

Here are some of things my kids and I do to create memories:

  • Reading- My daughter loves to read, my son not so much, however if you buy a book written my Anna Dewdney called “Llama Llama mad at mama” it seems to spark his interest. We also downloaded some great are apps with wonderful books. Reading to them or letting them read to me it sparks conversation and creates memory.
  • Spa Night- Spa night I enjoy tremendously. It’s a chance for us to bond while looking crazy in a mud mask, soaking our feet, doing hair and talking about whatever our hearts desire. Even my son enjoys soaking his feet and picking at his sisters mud mask.

    Spa Night with Mya!
  • Fishing- I hate fishing!! With a passion! The bugs, the fish, the worms, tangled lines, just everything! My son loves it. He has developed his dads love of the sport, so since its free I try to take him sometimes. The fact I don’t like it and it’s always a disaster is probably what makes for the best memory. The stories they will tell when I’m gone about the cursing and mess I make will make for a great laugh.

    Gon’ Fishin
  • Cooking Dinner- I never looked at dinner or any meal as a bonding moment. It’s just something that has to be done. I would like for my children to know how to cook so I let them help every now and then. The other day DJ asked me if he could cook the sweet chicken again because that was fun, and it dawned on me I’ve made memories. Just doing everyday things I’ve created a lasting memory. The chicken was delicious too. 
  • Household chores- Random daily tasks have often wound up being some of our greatest bonding moments. Washing clothes, making the laundry soap, loading the dishwasher or cleaning up. Turn on some music and dance your way through the household chores. Club YouTube has always been my favorite way to laugh make a fool of myself while creating memories with my babies.

Creating memories on a budget is easier than I thought. Although I would like to be able to take my kids on a trip every year or buy those season passes, being a single mom with no financial help it’s hard. So I’m thankful for the times we do get to go somewhere fun but I’m blessed to have the everyday moments that seem minuscule but will be the memories my children carry for a life time.


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