Proud to be a B.I.T.C.H.

At this point in my life I’ve dedicated myself to raising my children and providing a better future for them. I have no time or tolerance for anything or anyone that interferes with this plan. I have become a B.I.T.C.H. and I am proud of it. Let me explain.

A B.I.T.C.H is a Beauty In Total Control of Her life.  I am proud (these days) to be a B.I.T.C.H. I am not here for anyone’s interference with my happiness, health or growth. I won’t play second string when I’m a first string player, I won’t allow messy people to have an ounce of strength in my mental, physical or spiritual health. So I have built an armor around my life and kids, I am a B.I.T.C.H.

It has taken me at least 25 years to build myself up to this point. I have suffered with anxiety and depression most of my life and used to die a little inside wanting the approval and friendship of people.  My happiness was wrapped in the approval of everyone else. Even when I acted like I didn’t care, I did. I’m not saying I’ve developed the thickest of skin or am the best at using my Bitchy armor but I’ve become pretty great at it. Here’s how!

Meditation! Meditation! Meditation! It has gotten me through some pretty rough patches this past year. I’m not an expert, most of the time I fall asleep, but calming my brain and having an internal dialogue with myself has proven to help with not allowing people to make me miserable. I usually tune everything out and repeat in my head over and over I AM IN CONTROL OF MY HAPPINESS. Nobody else has the right to take that from me. If I’m in love with a decision that’s my right and nobody can make me feel less than important or like I’m wrong for following my heart. I’m not 100% at the point where I don’t need approval but I’m getting there. Parental approval is the biggest struggle.

Get rid of toxic people. The Naysayers, the liars, the hypocrites, the Debbie Downers and the “Still People.”  I had to get rid of the toxic around me, and in some cases that meant losing some long time friends.  I really had to step back and reevaluate my life, like “Victoria, Honey, this person is holding you back, your relationship with this individual or these individuals, is really keeping you stuck in a place that’s unhealthy.” Not everyone in your life knows they are toxic and you may be toxic to someone who you are unaware of, but you have to get rid the bad vibes in order to be a B.I.T.C.H.  The most important part of ridding the toxics out of your life is ridding yourself of the “Still” People, the people who are happy standing still, not reaching for anything better, that are happy being complacent.  I had to align myself with individuals that thought like me, that want to improve at life and that had good intentions for me and them.

Random Meme that’s been in my phone forever! I didn’t make it up!

The last thing I have been working on, and that has held up my Bitchy armor, is standing firm in what I say.  I have to say what I mean and mean what I say.  I have been so worried about hurting others feelings that I wore myself out. I hated saying “No” because I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.  But who was really there for me? Nobody! I couldn’t ask anyone for help.  I couldn’t even express my hurt, anger or disappointment with anyone, without it feeling like I was committing a crime.  So I have practiced saying No and not giving an excuse along with it.  You would think that being a mother saying No or expressing my displeasure with someone would come naturally, but it doesn’t.  I think I have rid my life of more toxic people using this Bitchy armor, than anything else I have done.

During the process of improving life and increasing my happiness I have lost plenty.  I barely have a circle of friends any more. I can count on one hand how many people I consider to be friends, and they are more like family.  I have been outcast and shoved to the side because I do not partake in the shenanigans any more.  I do not entertain gossip, if I feel one ounce of hate or drama I will cut you off so smooth you’ll think I vanished of the face of the earth.  Being a B.I.T.C.H doesn’t have to be something negative, you don’t have to treat people badly or with hatred.  Being a B.I.T.C.H is knowing what you want, who you want to be, standing firm in your happiness and not allowing anything or anyone to shake it.  You don’t have to have it altogether, Lord knows I don’t, but working toward your goals and happiness makes you a B.I.T.C.H and you should be proud of it I am!!

Love always,


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Hello world!

Welcome to Balanced Hysteria.  This is my first attempt at blog writing so please bear with me.  My name is Victoria ( I am sure you know that by now).  I am a 29 (almost 30) year old single mother of two children.  My son DJ is eight and my daughter, Peanut is what I call her, is six.  Before them I acquired their sisters as my step daughters and even though I am no longer with their father, whom I refer to quit often as the donor, they are still my girls and I am very active in their lives.  The oldest, Mya, is 17 and last but certainly not least is Dinesty who is 12 years old.  My four kids and I love every moment of being their mother (step), even when they are being jerks.

I am new to the single life.  I have been with their father since I was 19 years old.  Now I am knocking at 30 and having to start life all the way over.  I lost my house, my car, and pretty sure my sanity a few months ago and packed my babies up and moved back home! (yea I did that) I wallowed in self-pity and depression for few months, but have since decided that life doesn’t stop moving just because your relationship failed.  I still have kids to take care of and the relationship, unfortunately, the relationship ended for them as well.  So with my new improved attitude and happy meds we are beginning a journey to finding the balance in the hysteria!

I am looking forward to this new chapter in my life and can’t wait to share it with the world.  I am an over-sharer so by the time you get through a complete month with me I am sure you’ll feel like you have known me all my life.  I am not a great writer and have the tendency to write like I am talking to you.  So if you have any comments, questions, concerns, or suggestions please feel free to share them with me.  I have my contact information listed ( I hope) all over the page.  I love to talk to everyone, discussions make me happy, so I will be super interactive.

Thank you for taking the time out to check out my site and read my post! I look forward to this journey!

~ Victoria~




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