Being a mom I feel like I’m supposed to have it all together. I’m supposed to know what direction I’m headed in life. I’m supposed to have a goal and a plan to reach it. Scratch all of that. At the age of 29 about to be 30, I’m supposed to have it together. I’m supposed to have a plan together on where I want to be. At 30 I’m supposed to be halfway there. 

I am not going to lie I’m so lost. I have no clue what I want to do, what kind of job I want, if I want to go back to school or not, heck I don’t even know what’s for dinner. All I know is I don’t want to live at my parents house to long, I want my children to be happy, I want to make more money and I’m sick of my job.  I’m notorious for my indecisiveness. It’s brought me the most issues in my life. 

Talking to my 17 year old step daughter the other day she asked “What did you want to do when you grew up? What did you want to be?” My answer is: I never had any idea. I wanted kids and that’s all I know. I guess I had a fairytale in my mind of kids, family and a husband. I never had a plan other than being a mom. Other being a house wife and mother I had no plan for the future. Due to my impeccable taste in men that didn’t work out to well. 

Now that reality has bitten me square in the rear, What in the H.E double hockey sticks do I do now? My job doesn’t even have 401k, I’m barely making ends meet. I have a degree with no experience. What am I supposed to do? I lost a good portion of my income due to time constraints. So much has been put on hold. I’ve started working on my credit, but where do I go from here?  

One day at time I’m going to keep on moving, keep on climbing, and keep on keeping on. I have to or the depression will get the best of me. I think the biggest misconception in life is that we have to have everything figured out as soon as we hit a certain age or as soon as we become parents. But sometimes life throws curve balls and we have to adjust for it. So that’s where I’m at now, I’m adjusting and preparing for whatever my greatness is. If y’all know what it is feel free to help me! LOL no but really!